Thanks to our new AMC (anonymous monthly contributor)
Mirrabooka (1 Tim Cowell, 2 Eric Gray, 3 Matt Sanders)
vs
Cambridge (1 Arthur Law, 2 Lewis Christie, 3 Pascale Louka)
On a hot and steamy Autumn night, home team Cambridge started the evening as screaming favourites on paper.
Full of experience and talent, this old side – with a combined age of over 100 – was aiming to win Cambridge’s first state flag since 1982!
But standing in their way was a young and desperate Mirrabooka side, loaded with ticker, running power and good looks.
Cambridge’s Captain Tim put Old Man Matt on first against the highly improved and dangerous silent assassin Lucky Louka.
Game one was even. Hard fought all the way by both players with Lucky controlling the rallies with depth, then gaining the upper hand late after targeting the walls with her trademark working boasts, burning holes in Matt’s aging legs. Not an ideal start for the old boy, so his team went down and gave him a rev up. It worked wonders.
OMM came out in the second game harder than a cat’s head. With a new game plan, he had Pas sweating it up in overdrive, sending her deep into all 4 corners of the court, running her ragged.
Tied at 1 game all, the Mirrabooka side was holding their collective breath. Could Lucky sustain the intensity of the OMM plan going into the 3rd? Maybe even retaliate with her own scheme?
And sadly that was it. The only thing pretty about the last two games was Pascale. Thankfully death was quick. Matt won’t want anyone talking about the rest of this match. Probably ever again. He’ll want to put it behind him for all of time, which is why we might bring it up every now and then.
Mirrabooka 3-1
Next on to save the night for Cambridge was the rugby player Big Eric, taking on the super speedy Lewis The Front Wall Watcher 👀
The first was a great tussle and very hard fought, both players not giving an inch. Outstanding volley display and short ball gets. But in the end LTFWW prevailed in a very close one. Again, the Cambridge side had to find a way to get their teammate back into it. They went below deck and even the gallery could hear BE getting a decent pump up. And again, it worked. BE came out in the second, swinging harder than Mike Tyson, dominating Speedy with a great combination of short and deep balls, tied in with deceptive holds. 1-1.
The 3rd descended into a scrap, back to a bit of the old bash and crash. Eventually, after some brutal ball-bursting rallies, Lewis the gladiator came out on top. 2-1.
Eric knew he just needed to get the ball to die deep in the back corners to take Speedy out. He needed to really dig deep in this 4th if he was to save the night for the favourites.
Unfortunately, he only dug down about 2mm. Lewis worked harder than a beaver building a dam, then rode Eric like a rodeo bull for the rest of the match.
Mirrabooka 3-1
Captain Tim entered the arena last for Cambridge, taking on Arthur the Running Rabbit.
Could the match live up to its no. 1 billing?
You bet it could!
It was a cracker of a first game, going right down to the wire. There wasn’t a section of the court that the ball didn’t touch as they worked each other around. A superb display of State Grade squash, with two warriors battling to gain the ascendancy. After 30 merciless minutes and 18 intense hand-out rallies to reach 9-9, the Captain was suddenly gifted two timely strokes to steal it 11-9. To the Rabbit’s credit he didn’t say a dickie bird, just copped it sweet. Well played young man. 1-0.
Tim came off ruing the fact that he didn’t have the knackers to put himself on first, but he knew better than to cry over milk that had already been spilt all over the horse that had bolted.
But the second game was a different story. Arthur ran. Rarely do we get to see someone hop around the court so fast. Arthur picked up more nuts than a hungry squirrel 🐿️. His pressure gauge lifted, and he simply ran down everything the Captain threw at him. Premium display of hard work. 1-1.
And the beauty of this match was, it just kept getting better. The 3rd was outstanding, with more of the same high quality squash being served up. Lovely lines, tight length, cruel working boasts, knee-breaking drops, soft high lobs, devastating volleys. It had everything. Everything except what the old Captain needed – an easy rally. Even the crowd was seeing stars at one point. The Running Machine up 2-1.
So now, with the night seemingly gone and only his pride left to defend, you’d think Tim would come out in the 4th like a man possessed. However, what came out of the change room was a half dead dog with a broken spirit.
He ranted and raved a bit to try and fire himself up, but Arthur was toying with him now, working swiftly to a 9-2 lead, and all but home.
And that’s when it happened.
The moment that changed everything.
The heavens opened up and the angels must have started singing ‘Captain, Captain’.
On the verge of certain victory, Arthur launched into another powerful straight drive, only this time he snapped four strings with one fell swoop. The hard but fair referee gave him 90 seconds to change racquets, which Tim insisted that he took. But Art must have accidentally gone to his golf bag and picked out a 6 iron. With only two points left to win, he coughed up the next eight in a row. As so often is the case in this cruel game, he finally won a rally at 9-10 to get back to 10-10. And that’s when the dog fight started. A war of attrition. After intense long, tight rallies back and forth, Tim somehow got it done and stole the 4th 16-14.
And that was all she wrote. The rabbit was cooked.
The last was a procession. ARR looked like he’d been caught in trap and couldn’t muster a hop.
Some previously unseen errors crept in, which helped the Captain snatch an unlikely victory from the jaws of certain defeat.
Elite squash to watch.
Cambridge 3-2.
So that rounds up the evening, with Mirrabooka getting over Cambridge 8-5.
Remarkably well-umpired matches, the ref going through virtually unnoticed.
Plenty of cheers to the tough and tenacious Mirrabooka side for winning a hard earned flag as serious underdogs.
And plenty of fines* 💸 go to the soft as butter Cambridge for losing a long overdue and winnable GF.
*Of course, all proceeds go in the tin for an end of season get together.
Cheers!
